This is a reality for us all at certain times of our lives. We find ourselves 'here' and we may want to be 'there'- and instead of allowing things to be, or to unfold, and to trust in the so-called 'timing of life', we can feel frustrated, sad, and even anxious that we just aren't 'there'. I thought I'd share an experience of my own through this year, and how I've changed my way of being within this space between, in a more positive way.
We can feel this frustration of being 'here' and not 'there', with so many circumstances and transitions in life. Some are deeply changing, and we can't rush that space between, even if we try and try some more. In some of the hardest transitions in life, like grief and loss, there is no timeframe, and I know in my own heart, that surrendering to what is, learning to embrace what is, and this deep acceptance, is the most profound healing journey of all (that's another blog piece and topic to come).
But in other situations in life, like wanting to change careers, or grow a business, or moving locations, as examples - the space between can feel frustrating - but we can see this phase as a positive thing, and still take steps forward each day. We're not stuck in this space, we can still take action, sometimes in really significant ways. Sometimes this space between forces us to reflect and to question things, and we end up making choices that are even more aligned than how we initially imagined.
I have a few personal experiences of this between phase. But I'll just share one of these today, which is my desire and intention, to sell my home and to move location. It's something I've been wanting to do for the last few years now, and intended to do this year. I had plans in place to move for a few months, as a trial to see if a place might be my long term home. And then, 'life' got in the way (in personal ways), and covid and our pandemic changed everything, and it's become something I've had to put on the back burner again, for now. For many days this year, I found this really frustrating, and noticed so often, my yearning to be 'there'.
Finding ease and calm through change in my life, has become natural to me, through so much practice. I don't allow myself to spend time dwelling on the 'I wish things were different' or a 'need' for things to change, if it's something that's out of my control. It just doesn't serve or support me, and I know to change my thoughts whenever I might feel this way. This came up so often through our lockdown here in Melbourne, as I know it did for many. It certainly was a time that I put everything I know into practice, and really allowed myself in every single way, to just allow each moment to be, to lean into an acceptance things - not in a passive way, but in a very peaceful way, that I knew was ease-filled and calming for me.
I would often have conversations with my family about where I wanted to be, or was choosing to move. The frustration of not being able to do so, with the uncertainty of things. The knowing that this was and still is, a terrible time to be selling my home, and I don't choose to make a bad financial choice at all. And also, a knowing that with some personal life challenges alongside covid this year, it really felt in many ways, that perhaps I was supposed to still be here, and to not rush into making a decision or a choice on a 'whim', and to take this time and space between, as a positive way to really reflect and make plans of what I really desire, where I really choose to be, and how I can and will make that happen. The 'when' might be uncertain and unknown, but I can still use this space between wisely, and see it as time to become even more certain about what it is I really choose and how I can take steps towards that.
When I let the frustration go, and changed my thinking around it all, I realised that maybe right now, I'm actually okay where I am, and that in reality, I have some bigger choices to make. Perhaps I'm not in such a rush, and perhaps where I thought I wanted to move to, isn't actually where I would now, anyway. And that's a very significant shift, and reason to see this space between in a positive way. Covid has changed so much, and our lives in many ways, and it's certainly changed where I thought I wanted to be, and made me question a lot of things, in different ways. I'm sure it has for you, too.
It's interesting, but not surprising, but when we stop and reflect on things in this way, we realise that perhaps life is unfolding in ways we didn't expect, but there is a certain trust in the timing of it all - if we are willing to see and choose this. This space between for me, with moving, gives me time to ponder, reflect, and plan, but it also gives me time that I really need to pause, reset, to take stock of all that I've been through this year. Some deep breathing space to simply just be.
I wonder - is there something in your life where you feel you are 'here' but you desire to be 'there'. And instead of feeling frustrated if you can't get there because of circumstances out of your control, or knowing it's just going to take a little longer than you initially planned - perhaps you could instead see this phase, this between space, as a way to pause, to reset and to really feel into your heart and make choices and decisions that feel even more aligned. Ask yourself some really honest questions, and see if things have shifted or changed for you. And whatever comes up, whatever decisions and choices do feel truly aligned, then take one step to action that, to lean into the desire and intention for that, each and every day.
With love x
PS. If you are wanting support and coaching through something you're moving through right now, and desire to start your new year in a quality and meaningful way, then I would love to work with you.
Katie Jane is a Holistic Therapist, Life Coach, Health Coach, Nutritionist, Naturopath, Meditation teacher, writer and author. Katie has been working in the wellness industry for over 15 years, in private practice and online, and brings all of these qualifications and skills, along with her own lived experiences through challenges, changes and transitions. Her approach to life and wellbeing is truly holistic and unique for each individual. She supports and coaches clients to make powerful changes, to feel calm through uncertainty and change, to embrace self care as a way of being, and to thrive through life transitions.