Living and loving without being attached to any set outcome or end goal ...
How would it feel to let go of anything you don't need to carry? If you could release any of the weight or heaviness you hold within you? Or perhaps the pressure or expectation you place on yourself, to be a certain way, or for there to be certainty with life ahead?
How would it feel if you could let go of the need for a just a happy ending, or for everything to be fixed, to work out, to return to normal, or perhaps a need for it to be and feel how it was before?
How would it feel and what would it mean, if you could let all of that go? Give yourself permission to allow yourself to release it all.
And instead, be willing to see and feel and believe in yourself and in life, in a new and different way.
It's not easy, but acceptance can change and shift so much.
Acceptance can open our minds, hearts, bodies and our lives, to so much more.
I feel this way for many of us, through challenges, changes and transitions. If you're reading this, perhaps you're in a place, feeling this right now. For whatever reason that's personal for you. It may be grief or loss. It may be a health challenge or a health condition you live with. Perhaps you have a diagnosis of something and it feels impossible to find a way forward, right now. Or another transition where life has changed in so many ways, that it's difficult to find a way of being with how life may be right now, and even to find yourself within it all. I understand. I've felt this way too.
Acceptance brings a deep sense of peace and ease. Instead of looking to all the ways or things that are holding us back, or seeing all the limitations, or feeling all the negative emotions and feelings that come up, creating more resistance within ourselves. Acceptance means we can choose to live and to love in a way that's simply unattached to any outcome.
Learning to be with and within, simply what is. There is so much freedom in this.
Being unattached to any outcome. Taking in all the moments, doing everything you can, managing life in a way that supports you, being with people you love and who see and appreciate all that's beautiful within you, doing things you enjoy, and seeing yourself with belief in all that you're choosing. It's all your choice. The outcome doesn't matter so much. It's the whole journey that is more significant and meaningful than anything.
There's no pressure or expectation to only reach a certain end goal. There's an allowing of life to unfold in a trusting way, whilst making the choices that feel right for you, in any given moment. This is so powerful. It's so empowering. And to see ourselves and life in this way, can change so much and open us up to more.
I know the shift I felt within myself when I really understood this. Instead of feeling heavy or full of fear, about a transition in life I find myself living, I chose to not be attached to an outcome. I didn't need things to be a certain way. I let go of the need to recover or to heal in a way that meant I would return to normal. (What is normal, anyway). And when I accepted what it was I lived with, when I started choosing ways to manage my body and my life, that felt empowering to me. How I saw myself and my life changed.
Quite literally, I started to breathe. I stopped the resistance and the internal struggle. I let go of a need to be any other way except just how I am, and all that I am. I took some deep breaths in and out, and I let go of all the pressure and expectation within myself, and anything external to me.
Instead, I turned all my precious energy and a knowing deep within myself that I would trust in my own choices and my own way. And that for me, personally, I didn't need certainty or for everything to return to the way it was.
I actually realised that what I live with was encouraging me to find new and different ways to create my life. My body was asking me to reassess how I was seeing life and myself within it. And when I listened, I knew without any doubt, that the first step forward was letting go of any attachment to a set outcome. And just to keep living and loving and choosing all that feels true and right for me.
Acceptance meant that a sense of self empowerment grew, and it continues to. And to me, this is the greatest healing over anything. This knowing and trusting within myself as part of the whole journey.
I hope for everyone to feel empowered through any challenges, changes and transitions we live with and through. It's such a core belief of mine, it's the essence of everything I do and how I am. I just know that when we can let go of an attachment to something or to someone, or for life to work out in a certain way, the resistance to what is just lessens and our acceptance deepens, and this brings so much ease and joy into our hearts and our lives.
It's huge part of loving and living, and being with precious awareness and intention to each present moment. It simplifies things, it lets us just be, with open hearts and open minds. When we feel a sense of peace within, so much flows.
If we are constantly living in a space where we place pressure and expecation on ourselves to achieve and succeed in certain ways, we can feel disempowered if we don't get there, or reach those goals. We might look to someone else and wonder why they're at that point, and we're not. We might feel that we're failing, or we're not good enough, or we're not worthy. None of these thoughts and beliefs are ever helpful or supportive. All this inner dialogue creates unhealthy chaos in our hearts and our minds. The more we resist, the moe chaos we create. But when we choose to let go, when we give ourselves permission to just release all of that, it can feel lighter and easier, and it's just so much kinder to ourselves.
It makes no sense to berate ourselves within something we live with. It makes all the sense in the world to me, to choose to find simplicity and all the moments and spaces of calm. This is where healing resides. And my own meaning and definition of healing comes from this space of the deepest self compassion and trust. I feel it's so necessary for all aspects of our wellbeing.
Living and loving in a way that's unattached to an outcome requires a sense and feeling of acceptance. It also requires a belief in ourselves. It asks us to come to know a deep sense of who we are, and to trust and support ourselves. None of it means that we give up hope or we don't make choices to support ourselves in ways to move forward. We can always make mindful, conscious and intentional choices through acceptance. But it does mean that we're not focussed just on the end goal, which can be unhealthy to cling onto. Instead, we find a way to be with what is, right now, and we start loving and living from this place. And it's from this space and the energy of being with ourselves in this way, with love, that so much can shift and change.
We see and feel things so very differently when we are willing. Acceptance allows us to be willing. Acceptance allow us to make empowering choices. Acceptance asks of us to listen to ourselves and to trust in what we know is right and true for us.
Give yourself permission to let go of an attachment to an outcome. Start to create a life you love in a way you choose to. Let yourself see past limitation or anything you feel defined by. Lessen the focus on what you can't do, and open your mind and heart to what you can do, perhaps in new and different ways. It may not feel easy, it make take time and persistence and a passion to feel empowered within yourself. But I do know that by choosing this, you will be supporting yourself in so many ways.
In some ways, acceptance can mean that we make some kind of peace with what is, as reality, right now. Things may change. They may not. The outcome becomes less important. The journey, the transition in itself, feels and becomes greater and more siginificant than anything.
Acceptance may mean that our known versions of happiness may no longer look the same. Instead, happiness might come from learning new ways to manage things, new ways to be, a new perspective on what it means to truly live a meaningful life so aligned for you, and to create happiness and joy within, rather than any external need.
This might feel true if you live with a health condition or chronic illness or pain. There is such a need to find and embrace new ways of doing things, new ways to bring ourselves joy, new ways to bring meaning and purpose to our lives and to know with unwaivering self belief, that we are deeply significant and valuable, with so much to give. It may mean that we can't do things we once did, or in the same way. Acceptance is part of shifting our focus from what we can do, to what we can. And making choices and creating a life that is enriched and full of so much, right now.
Acceptance and being unatattached to an outcome can bring freedom to our hearts, minds and bodies, in more powerful ways than we realise.
There's a lot to be said in letting go of the need for things to be differenet. To see your own journey as so deeply enriched with personal inspiration and wisdom. It takes courage, it takes a brave and loving heart, to say 'I accept what is and I allow life to unfold'. Which means to be willing, being open, and feeling empowered to make choices from a place of acceptance and ease. Letting go of resistance, and the struggle. Loving ourselves just as we are, and loving life for what is is and however it might be.
We just never know what the future holds. We never know one day to the next. Nothing in life is ever certain. And it's not easy to trust, but the most empowering choice we can make through any challenge, change or transition, is to be willing to accept each moment as it is now, with no attachment to needing anything to be different, and to keep loving and living with greater ease and joy.
Our whole energy can change. Our whole life may change. Our hearts change. And so much can flow from this space.
What are you carrying and holding onto, that you don't need to?
How can you let that go, and what will it mean for you, to let it all go?
What would choosing acceptance feel like for you?
I deeply encourage you to reflect and to choose to live and to love without a set attachment to an outcome. And I'd love to know how this feels for you, or what comes up for you.
If you'd like to talk further about this, or you know you'd like some holistic wellbeing and coaching support through something you're living with right now, I'd love to have a conversation with you.
With love x
PS. If you'd like to work together, you can find more details through this link -
PPS. If you enjoy reading these blog posts, then you might like to receive regular 'Letters of Support' and you can sign up through this page, and download a free ebook as a gift too -
Katie Jane is a Holistic Therapist, Life Coach, Health Coach, Nutritionist, Naturopath, Meditation teacher, writer and author. Katie has been working in the wellness industry for over 15 years, in private practice and online, and brings all of these qualifications and skills, along with her own lived experiences through challenges, changes and transitions. Her approach to life and wellbeing is truly holistic and unique for each individual. She supports and coaches clients to make powerful changes, to feel calm through uncertainty and change, to embrace self care as a way of being, and to thrive through life transitions.