Many of us become familiar with seeing ourselves in the same way. Seeing our lives in the same way. We think it's hard to make changes. We think it takes too much effort. It can feel easier to stay where we are, doing the same things we're doing and seeing the same view and path forward. I wonder though, as you start this new year, or even each new day - How do you truly see yourself? And how do you truly long to see yourself? How do you desire to see yourself? Take some time, now, to write down a few things that come to you, honestly and truthfully, when you ask yourself these powerful questions.
When we are born, we have no preconceived ideas about who we are, how we should or must be, how we see ourselves, or any concerns of how we are seen by others. As babies, we have all the confidence in the world. Through life, we learn ideas, thoughts, behaviours - none of these are from ourselves - our external world and our experiences shift and change our thoughts and beliefs and how we see everything, in so many ways.
And along the way, life can throw curve balls, turn things inside out and upside down, and the more knocks we take, for most of us - our self belief, our self confidence can feel shaken and we can forget all the ways we once saw ourselves, and even forget how we long to see ourselves. Perhaps even more so, we forget or don't know how to regain that confidence we once had and knew so well, and all the ways that we really choose and desire to achieve our hearts desires in this life.
Perhaps we have a set back with our career, or health, or a relationship, or perhaps adversity shakes our world as we know it, and our whole identity feels changed. There are so many ways we can lose our sense of self, and our sense of true confidence, and belonging too. It can leave us feeling that we are lacking in some way, empty, perhaps not having the ability to move forward, not feeling we're good enough, or it's too hard to make a change, or we feel limited and defined by our experiences and circumstances, and all of this, this holds us back.
We stop believing in ourselves. We stop believing that things can feel and be easy. We forget our strengths. We might find it too hard, or it takes too much effort, to know where to start or where to begin, to even find our true sense of self belief and self confidence, again. And so we stop, and we wait for motivation or inspiration, and it doesn't come, and we wait some more. Instead of just taking one tiny action. One small step. One thing we can do, that moves us forward.
When life knocks us around a little, or a lot, we can lose self confidence. And with that, over time can come feelings of doubt, negative thoughts and emotions that rise up within us and become greater, we lose a sense of self esteem, we might start comparing ourselves to others, and we might start feeling fearful and worried, stressed, anxious and even depressed - or other health challenges arise. Our self confidence - how we see ourselves, how we feel within ourselves - can truly affect our whole wellbeing, and manifest in so many ways in our bodies. We may no longer remember how we used to see ourselves, when we felt more confident and full of self belief. And instead, this way of being and living, and the self sabotaging thoughts that become greater, become our new familiar, and it can feel difficult to break that cycle, to take action - to even know how to, or what is the first step.
I believe the first step is knowing we truly desire to make a change. A longing we have within ourselves for something we really choose to achieve. And that first shift we feel within us, that we are ready and willing to choose a new way, a different way, an unfamiliar view or path - this first desire and longing - is the first place to start and to begin. And with tiny steps, with one thing at a time, with each small (or big) action - we can consistently move forward. We can create our own motivation and determination to see ourselves, and to see our lives, moving forward, in all the ways we desire and long for, with unwaivering confidence and self belief. For so much to shift and to change, and to expand and grow.
Confidence doesn't have to roar loudly. It might for you. But true confidence and self belief, is a feeling and way of being that resides within us. It's an unwaivering self belief, and self assurdeness that can be quiet, and not even say a word, but it's felt. By ourselves, more importantly than anything else. And it's felt by others, because we are start living and being in complete alignment with our truth.
I believe that being willing to make a change, to choose to make a change - whatever that is for you, in your heart, and life - this the first step and action to keep consistently leaning into and carrying forward. Building your own momentum. Your driving force. In your own way, your own pace, your own natural rythmn. But you are committed to it, devoted to it, and you know within yourself that you've started, you're beginning, and you are determined to stay the course and to keep moving forward. And you're ready to have accountability, to ask for support, to invest in yourself, to keep moving forward.
We start to see ourselves so differently, when we are willing to choose a new way, a new path, and to do what it takes, to get there. We don't see the stop signs, we only see the arrows directing us forward. We don't look at the past or dwell there, we keep our eyes and heart open and facing forward. We don't focus on what we don't have or can't do, or the ways we feel limited by things or situations - we focus on what we can do, and we start doing things we say we want and choose to do. And we do this, every day, in our own ways, consistently. Our self belief starts to shift. Our self confidence starts to build, and we start to soar.
I wonder, if you haven't already, perhaps take this time, to answer these questions again, now. Or add to what you might have written.
How do I see myself? How do I truly see myself, and feel about myself?
And then ...
How do I desire to see myself? How do I truly yearn and long to see and feel within myself?
And how do I desire to see and feel within my life, moving forward?
Some powerful questions to reflect on, and to really take time to answer. Journal into these. Sit and listen to some soothing or uplifting music as you really reflect on these honestly, within and for yourself. And come back to this blog again tomorrow, for some further ways I'll be sharing, to support you to move yourself, forward.
Feeling calm, connected and confident - all these three incredibly beautiful, supportive and empowering themes and ways of being, that bring so much positive change to our hearts and lives.
With love x
I love to support my clients to feel calm, connected and confident, and more! I have space for new clients and would love to support you - I encourage and welcome you to connect with me, here -send me an email today to book a time for us to have an initial conversation -
Katie Jane is a Life Coach, Health Coach, Counsellor, Nutritionist, Naturopath, Holistic Psychologist, Mentor, Writer, Meditation teacher. She has been working in the wellness industry for over 15 years and brings all of these qualifications and skills, along with her own lived experiences through challenges, changes and transitions. Katie works with clients in private practice in Melbourne, as well as online and over skype to other parts of the globe. Her approach to life and wellbeing is truly holistic and unique for each individual. She supports and coaches clients to make powerful changes in their hearts and in their lives.