I know there are many of us who are spending this christmas time, or holiday season alone. This is true every year for many, but even more so, this year, in these uncertain and difficult times. I just wanted to share a little support from my heart to yours, if you are feeling lonely or alone, and hope you might feel some comfort in these words.
Allow yourself to feel however you feel. Don't bottle up your emotions and feelings inside. If you need to cry, just let those tears flow. Let yourself weep. And then when you're ready, bring yourself back to your heart, and remind yourself that it's okay to feel however you feel, and trust in knowing that you are loved and you are not alone.
Bring yourself back to your breath. At any time you feel sad, stressed or anxious, or any emotions feel heightened - just pause for a moment, close your eyes, and take gentle inhales and exhales, and allow yourself to feel a little more ease and calm, with each breath.
Focus on things that uplift you and bring you joy. The small things that you can do and love to do. It might be listening to beautiful music. Or having a long bubble bath. Or learning a new recipe and cooking a delicious and healthy meal for yourself. It might be a creative project, like writing, or painting. Taking yourself out for walks if you can and just noticing the beauty of nature, the smell of the fresh air, the patterns of the leaves on the trees, and the smell of the flowers. Going for a wander around your streets at night and enjoying the christmas lights on others homes. Watching some 'feel good' movies - those favourites so many of us love at this time of year. Reading a really great fiction book that lets you escape into the pages, and you forget where you are, for a while. Sitting outside in the sunshine if you can. Or sitting by the warm fire, or in front of a warm heater with cups of tea or hot chocolate. Holding your favourite mug. Enjoying that morning sip of brewed coffee. Taking this time just to simply do nothing, and to rest. Allow yourself to take in all the simple and small things and moments that bring light and joy and linger in the delight of these. Nurture and nourish yourself in all the small things that uplift your spirits and warm your heart, and care for your body and your wellbeing in all the ways you can.
Call a friend who you know will be there for a chat. Even if it's just to check in and wish them a merry christmas too. We are all having very different experiences at this time of year, but friends will want to call you back, even it's just for a few minutes to say hello.
Stay connected with family wherever they are, if you are able to. This is the huge benefit of our technology and online world. We can see others faces over facetime, skype or zoom, and it's not the same as being with them in person, but it does make things a little easier and to feel less distant, more connected, and less alone. And if you have lost a loved one this year, then connecting with family and friends can be a way to share in memories and love together.
It's not easy to do, but it is very powerful, with everything in life, really - and this is to put things in perspective. I so often come back to this, as a reframe with times of challenge, uncertainty and change. Perspective that this is just another day. Perspective that, this too shall pass. Perspective that someone else is having a far more difficult time than we might be having. Perspective that we are not alone with how we are feeling or what we might be going through - others are feeling this way too. Whatever you are feeling and why you are spending this time alone, this year - know that someone else and others are, too. And a special note to anyone who is spending time alone and grieving someone you love, my heart is with you. And to those who are unwell or spending time in hospital over this time. (thank you to our healthcare workers who work so tirelessly with shifts over this holiday season).
Write a gratitude list. Something I have done today, which a friend of mine suggested, and I love it. I've written a list of 108 things to feel grateful for! The first ones were obvious, and as the list grew larger, it was such a powerful and beautiful process to really remind myself of all the simple, precious things. It's a beautiful way to stay uplifted, and to bring ourselves into our hearts, and remind ourselves of what we do have, and ways to feel blessed.
Writing letters to loved ones. Another thing I'm doing is writing little notes and letters to a couple of friends. A few emails to friends and family overseas. And some old fashioned hand written letters, to send as snail mail, which hopefully will be a surprise and joy for them to receive.
And last on this list, but definitely not least - Meditation. I do this everyday, anyway - twice a day, as my ritual. But I am so mindful in difficult times, to spend even more time in stillness, in meditation. I might sit for longer. Or I might listen to more meditations on my favourite app - Insight Timer (you can find some of mine on there too, if you so desire! Search for the teacher profile - Katie Jane - or you'll find the link through my website too). Or anything that just brings more ease and calm into my being, and to just spend more time, leaning into the quiet hush within. It supports me in so many ways, I find, to settle my nervous system, to not react and feel stressed or anxious, to not feel heightened pain, and to just breathe more easily and to take things as they come, and to be here now, in each present moment.
I could keep writing this blog for ages! But I hope some of these words may feel nurturing, comforting and supportive to you. Wherever you are, however you are, however you are feeling and whatever your personal circumstance might be, right now today, and through this time - I hope you may feel and know that you are not alone and I acknowledge and understand that this time is difficult and hard, and I also know that tomorrow is another day and so it is ... and we keep carrying on!
And from my heart to yours, I send you ease and calm, and all my love. I hope you will find ways to keep your spirits uplifted, your face to the light, and to reside in the peace and love within your own heart.
Katie Jane is a Life Coach, Health Coach, Counsellor, Nutritionist, Naturopath, Holistic Psychologist, Mentor, Writer, Meditation teacher. She has been working in the wellness industry for over 15 years and brings all of these qualifications and skills, along with her own lived experiences through challenges, changes and transitions. Katie works with clients in private practice in Melbourne, as well as online and over skype to other parts of the globe. Her approach to life and wellbeing is truly holistic and unique for each individual. She supports and coaches clients to make powerful changes in their hearts and in their lives.