My journal piece yesterday was about taking things one day at a time, and doing one thing at a time - you can read this here. It felt apt today, to share some thoughts about beginnings, new starts, and taking just one step forward. As one action is often all it takes to switch us from feeling stuck, procrastinating in some way, and to build our own natural momentum to just get started. Not in a rushed, hurried or pressured way. Just in a way that creates motivation, and instills confidence and self belief as we feel we are taking action, and making choices to move forward. This is true for anything we set our minds and hearts to - health, life, career, business, relationships, making a big change or transition of some kind - one step forward, one action, is all it takes to begin.
I love these words that I found - "Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can". I come back to them often, including at the start of this year, with new things, and wanting to be brave, bold and honest with myself, in embracing new directions, taking gentle actions towards those things. I guess we'd call them goals to achieve and work towards, but I don't always love that word. For me, it's more desired intentions and pursuing things I am passionate about, that are aligned with my values and my vision, each day.
I think we can ease ourselves into new beginnings, and new things, in a natural, gentle way - but we also need to take action, to be consistent, to feel motivated, and to honestly know within ourselves that we are willing to do the work, however that means and feels for us. We have to want to make that choice, even if it's just a tiny glimmer of hope, or a tiny shift and change that we feel, or the smallest of steps we take forward. It comes from a place within us that we are choosing, and when we feel it, all it takes is small, consistent action, to build confidence and belief, and so much can change.
I have a client I'm working with and supporting this year. She's felt quite stuck and overwhelmed at the start of this new year - something I feel many are familiar with. After a year of so much uncertainty and change, that still continues, she's still feeling weary and exhausted. It's hasn't been a holiday break for her, or a new year where everything is fresh and better and with so much time and energy to start on things. She has family and work life she is balancing, and health challenges that have come up through the past year, that affect her energy and how much she feels she can and can't do. She has things she so desires to move forward with, but feels she's lost self belief and confidence in even knowing how to begin. She knows within herself that she truly desires and chooses to support herself more this year, to feel better, to improve her health and her whole wellbeing, and to not find things so hard and such a struggle. She knows she truly yearns for ways to embrace each day and her life with more ease, and with joy.
I think she's like so many of us. And I know many who have that feeling that they've lost confidence in themselves, or not knowing how to start or how to begin, with all the stories and things we might say to ourselves. We self sabotage our desires, rather than instill a deep sense of unwaivering self trust and self belief, where we feel calm, connected within, and confident in making choices and changes to move forward.
So, these words feel so true, for my client and for you perhaps, too -
"Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can". I hope a few things I write here, might encourage and support you, in taking one step, one action, to move forward for yourself, today, or even, right now.
Start where you are.
That shift inside, that choice and willingness within - that's the first step. Knowing that you are ready to make a change. As no one else can tell us when we are ready or when it's the right time. It's only us who can choose and decide when we're willing to do the work for ourselves. And by 'the work' I don't mean that it has to be or feel hard - I think that's such a misconception when we choose to embrace changes in our hearts and lives. 'The work' can be inspiring, joyful, empowering and liberating and it often is and feels this way, when we just make a start with things, and begin. It's all our choice.
Often we hold back from starting something, because we feel stuck in the past. We think that maybe we've tried things before and they haven't worked. Or we think it's too late to begin or to start afresh. There are all kinds of stories and things we can tell ourselves. I think it's a truly valuable reminder that we can't change the past, there is no point in dwelling on things that perhaps haven't worked or how things have been before, or even worrying about how things might be in the future and is this really possible, realistic, or achievable?
I prefer to bring myself - and anyone I support and work with - back to just this present moment, here, now. How you are feeling now. What your hopes and desires are, now. What do you truly yearn and long for, now. The choices and changes you know you are ready and willing to make and to take steps towards, now. And then, we can start, here. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. And I always encourage myself and others to shift our language from "I can't", to "I can". I believe that through anything, and everything, this is possible. It's very powerful to lean into this, each day, and to feel the confidence and self belief we can cultivate to grow.
Use what you have.
We all have within us, what it takes to move forward, in ways we choose and desire. It is different for us all. So often, we might feel held back when we compare ourselves to others, see where others are at, what others have, and think we can't do that or it's harder for us, or perhaps we just don't have what it takes.
There are some words that I am reminded of - “The death of contentment is comparison”. And this is so true, in every way. When we look to others journeys and hold others on pedastools or as our only inspiration, then we can lose sight of ourselves and our own ways of doing things. We focus on others instead of knowing what it is and all that we have within us - all that resides within.
I think it's so valuable to remind ourselves that we are all unique and individual, and no one else will ever feel the same way we do, or live the same life that we do. And when I look at myself in this way, honestly, there is no comparison to someone else. There is no point comparing my life or my journey to anyone else. As no one else is me. Sure - we can move through similar experiences, and circumstances -- but still, how I feel about living through something will be different to how someone else feels. It's a reason why I believe so deeply in holistic support - we are all unique individuals with our own personal experiences through everything. There is never one approach or way that suits and works for us all.
I am so cautious about the language often used in the self help/ self improvement space - looking to others for all our inspiration, which is far too common with social media these days too. As so often, we only see others success stories and we don't see behind the scenes - and if we expect ourselves to live the same journey with the same results and outcome to someone else, then we might only set ourselves up for failure.
There is no failure when we are attuned, and connected within ourselves, to knowing ways only for ourselves, that feel right and true. No one else, not using what others have, but knowing what we have within ourselves, available and accessible to us, to move forward in our own ways. Our own choices. Our own lives. Our own empowering and beautiful change.
It can be so valuable to talk through your strengths with someone - it's something I love to do with clients, moving forward through any aspect of life. Coming back to what your values are, what your unique strengths are, and what it is that's truly important to you. When we know ways to bring ease and calm into our bodies, minds and hearts - and we learn to embrace ways of being and living that allow things to feel more ease-filled and to naturally unfold and flow - we feel more calm, more connected and more confident with everything, and a self belief that within us, we have all that we need. It's already there, and it all becomes brighter and stronger, when we look away from others, and just walk our own path. There are no distractions, and it's only our own inward focus that supports us to move forward. It's truly empowering to let go of the need to know what anyone else is doing, and to be so connected to yourself and to your own journey, and all that's true for you.
I certainly know the joy that's found in this space and the contentment that flows.
Do what you can.
The more ease and calm we feel within, the more things flow. Not resisting what is, or placing pressures or expectations on ourselves. But allowing what is, leaning into an acceptance of what is, and then knowing and choosing what it is that we can change - ways to do that one thing, or to take that one step. This small action is such a big shift, as our self belief and confidence can bloom and flourish from here. Choosing what it is that supports us, in each moment, of every day, is something I talk about all the time - embracing self care as a way of being- with everything - and being gentle but honest and firm about this.
Truly living in a way where we are making aligned choices that feel right and true for us, in every way.
It's supportive to remind ourselves to take the pressure off and let go of expectations. When we try too hard, or push and strive for things to happen - so often, they don't. If we resist what is, and constantly have a wish or need for things to be different, or to be attached to just one outcome - then, this may only perpetuate a feeling of self sabotage and holding ourselves back. Feeling disappointed or disheartened with ourselves. This is true with anything in life. Instead of taking small steps, small actions, and allowing things to gently unfold and to flow, as they will.
The same can be true for waiting for things to be different, before taking gentle and aligned actions. If we wait to feel better before doing something we truly long for, then we waste a beautiful opportunity, as the change may just lie within that choice to make a start, to take just one action, now. If we wait until the perfect time, then we may hold ourselves back, as every day is the perfect day to make a choice, to make a change, to be brave and bold and to choose to move forward.
I often say that acceptance is a beautiful opening for change, as so often we can feel defined by our circumstances and we stop doing things or we stop moving forward because we feel it's too hard, or we must wait until a better time, or until things improve in some way, or we have more money to invest in ourselves. But so often, if we accept what is, we feel more ease and calm, and we allow beautiful openings for change, to flow from this space. We can make empowered choices from this space, and feel encouraged, with gentle momentum, to do what we can. One step at a time. One action moves us forward. Feeling calm, connected and confident, a little more each day and we feel our lives change in ways desire and create for ourselves.
I wonder - what is it that you long for and desire? What is one step that you might take, one action, to move forward? Perhaps it's making that phone call and booking an appointment. Perhaps it's sending that email and reaching out for support. Perhaps it's creating a beautiful morning routine that sets you up for the day. Perhaps it's choosing to invest in yourself, and having the support from someone, to truly make changes that you know you desire in your heart and your life.
I would love to support you, in a truly holistic way for your whole wellbeing - to feel calm, connected and confident - in every way. I just know the beautiful changes this brings, and I encourage you to connect and to send me an email, to make a time to speak - www.katiejanewellness.com/coachingsessions.html
I also encourage you today, or right now, to take that one step, to do that one thing, to take one action, and to move forward on the path that feels true and aligned for you. It's so exciting and uplifting to make that one choice that will open so much!
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Katie Jane is a Life Coach, Health Coach, Counsellor, Nutritionist, Naturopath, Holistic Psychologist, Mentor, Writer, Meditation teacher. She has been working in the wellness industry for over 15 years and brings all of these qualifications and skills, along with her own lived experiences through challenges, changes and transitions. Katie works with clients in private practice in Melbourne, as well as online and over skype to other parts of the globe. Her approach to life and wellbeing is truly holistic and unique for each individual. She supports and coaches clients to make powerful changes in their hearts and in their lives.