Cultivating self belief comes from within and is necessary for our wellbeing.
Self belief doesn't come from others. It comes from within ourselves.
I think of planting a seed and all the ways we can nurture and nourish it to grow. It takes water, sunshine, all the nutrients from the soil - the right environment - to flourish.
Self belief can be cultivated in this same way. We create the environment within ourselves for self belief to grow and to flourish.
I believe words of support from others encourages our self belief. But not if we only rely on these words. Not if we only seek and find reassurance in others words as external validation. That's not building our own self belief. A reliance on constant validation from others can potentially do the opposite.
Self belief truly is an inside job and it's an essential part of our wellbeing, to create the right environment within ourselves, for self belief to grow and to flourish.
Creating the right enviroment means deeply trusting in ourselves. An awareness and understanding of who we are. How we can feel connected to ourselves. What supports us, in any given moment, to make conscious choices from this deep trust and connection within. When we are able to do this, our self belief can become unwaivering and constant, as a resource we are able to continually tune into, a knowing of ourselves in a more enriched way. Self belief is a part of self confidence, self esteem and self worth - all of these are so necesary as part of our own wellbeing. And to move forward, continually, through all phases and stages of life.
So, what are some ways to cultivate self belief? I wanted to mention just a few supportive things here -
Having an awareness within ourselves. This can come through finding space for stillness and calm. Meditation can be beautiful for this - an effortless practice which can open so much wisdom and truth within us. After years of mediation, it's still incredible to me the insights that come through awareness. Simply sitting quietly in one place, twice a day, every day, and letting the rest of the world pass on by, and just being with and within myself. When we create awareness, we also cultivate self compassion and self love and these are beautiful foundations on which to build upon, for belief within ourselves.
Creativity can encourage self belief. I think we're all creative. We all have ways we can be creative. It might be journalling or writing. It might be singing or dancing, cooking or painting. Creativity might also be a way to express ourselves and just by having this outlet, this way to express, can bring inspiration within us, and build our sense of self belief, confidence and self essteem, along with all the feelings that come into our hearts as part of this. Creativity can also bring joy, and feelings of joy and happiness can uplift us, and this positive energy can naturally support self belief.
Reminding ourselves of our strengths and all the things we're good at, can be so valuable. Things we've accomplished and achieved. Things we've moved through and worked through. Even just reminding ourselves of how far we've come. When we reflect on our strengths, we might say out loud or write down what they are, but we may also benefit from reminding ourselves of the contexts we've used these or developed these. For instance, a strength might be that you are an open and honest communicator, and thinking of a situation or place where you've shown this or been this way, and the positive outcome, or the positive feelings you remember within yourself. Drawing on these experiences and contexts can be empowering to remind us of the belief we do already have and know within ourselves.
Taking small steps forward towards our goals. And having goals to keep moving towards, but without expecation or pressure, as this might feel unhelpful if we don't reach an outcome in a set timeframe. Take things slowly, gently and at our own pace, knowing this is different for us all. But having goals to work towards and each day, putting something in action, no matter how small it might be. Each action step builds a sense of 'I can do this' or 'I'm already doing this' and that's belief to build upon. It's the opposite to feeling stuck or overwhlemed, where we might then look around us and compare ourselves to someone else, or become fixated on our limations or ways we might feel we're failing. None of these are helpful or supportive. Action steps take us away from that unhelpful way of thinking and propel us forward, on our own path, building momentum and self belief each day.
Letting go of any comparison to someone else or their journey. You're not them and they're not you. We are all unique individuals. Each time we find ourselves comparing to another, I like to remember that we are our own selves, living our own journeys, making our own choices, we all have our own strengths and goals, and it really makes no sense to compare any of ourselves to anyone else. We are all so very different in so many ways. I often suggest to create a visualisation where you might close the door to anyone or anything that you're comparing yourself to, as a way to say 'I don't choose that thought' or 'this isn't supporting my own self belief so I choose to not look at that'.
As part of this, I also suggest limiting the messages you take in from others around you and on social media. It can be loud and noisy and distract you from who you are, and your own choies and joruney. Instead of reading others words, write your own. Or spend this precious time learning new skills, or creating something of your own to share. All of this will help to build self belief and lessen the need of anything external to us. And then when do have this inner unwaivering self belief, our relationship with others is far healthier too. Self belief gives us the abiltiy to be more discerning and to engage in a healthier way, and with healthy but flexible boundaries too.
Self belief means a deeper quality relationship with ourselves, which also then expands into how we are with others too. Such a beautiful flow on effect, but it all starts within.
Learning new skills, being open to new things and new perspectives, and developing ourselves - all can build self belief. It doesn't have to be hard work, it can be enjoyable and uplifting to learn new skills and ways of doing things. They help us to move towards our goals and the belief we have in being able to achieve and accomplish things. I think it's also beautiful and valuable to hold a vision of ourselves with goals - to imagine ourselves acutally doing it or in the palce where it's hapepned or how we're feeling at that time. To visualise that and to keep leaning into that and towards that, as if it's always a light, guiding us forward.
Self belief empowers us to know what it is that will support us, to make the right and most aligned choices, in every given moment.
Self belief empowers us to have such deep trust within ourselves that we don't have a need to rely on others opinions or words - we might receive them gratefully and with thanks - but we don't need them as a way to define in our own self worth. There's such a difference. A knowing within ourselves of our own confidence, our own worth, that we are capable and enough, and this belief allows us to just get on with things in our own way, knowing that we can and we will. We just have this inner trust and belief that what we desire and move towards, is possible.
It's truly necessary for our wellbeing, to find all the ways we can to believe in ourselves, in every way. Through all the ups and downs, all the phases and stages of life, self belief is necessary to have and to keep nurturing for us to grow.
Self belief comes from within ourselves. It doesn't come from others. We cultivate self belief by respecting and loving ourselves so much that we are willing to create the right environment for this empowering growth and change. Cultivating self belief will always support us to move forward.
We can all choose to cultivate self belief. What are some ways you might choose this for yourself? I'd encourage you to reflect on this and to be honest with yourself, and I'd really love to know.
If you'd like to continue a conversation with me about this, then please do leave a comment, or send me an email. You might be looking for ways to build self belief and I would love to support you to do this. I have many clients I work with who find that by building inner trust and self belief, they no longer have a need for any external validation, and their lives open and expand. I know this shift and feeling within myself too. This is where beautiful and empowering change begins. I'd love to have a conversation with you to support you to do this and so much more.
PS. You can learn more about working together and send me an email through this link - https://www.katiejanewellness.com/working-together.html
PPS. If you enjoy reading these blogs, you might like to receive my regular 'Letters of Support' and you can do that through this link, and download a free ebook as a gift too - https://www.katiejanewellness.com/resources.html
Katie Jane is a Life Coach, Health Coach, Counsellor, Nutritionist, Naturopath, Holistic Psychologist, Mentor, Writer, Meditation teacher. She has been working in the wellness industry for over 15 years and brings all of these qualifications and skills, along with her own lived experiences through challenges, changes and transitions. Katie works with clients in private practice in Melbourne, as well as online and over skype to other parts of the globe. Her approach to life and wellbeing is truly holistic and unique for each individual. She supports and coaches clients to make powerful changes in their hearts and in their lives.